Maybe this week wasn’t the best to do a series on Roles. I found myself immersed in several end-of-year financial projects for clients that will continue through next week.

What has made this week doable in the midst of all the number crunching and data “massaging” has been keeping on top of it all by following this general rule of thumb: guestimate how long a project will take to complete and then double it. Schedule the doubled amount time.

Then, when things don’t go quite as planned, there’s no rush! or… when it goes even better than planned, go do something fun!

How synchronistic is it that I was going to write about Stephen Covey’s First Things First–the “first” things being your core priorities–and today I spent the day at Sacramento’s Arco Arena for a Get Motivated business speaker seminar.

The primary theme of the day? Success. What I was so pleased to hear was how many ways and how many times Success was spoken about in a Priorities way. One of the anecdotes told by Zig Ziglar:

I was talking to a young man who was often traveling away from home following his boss, even when the travel wasn’t required. I asked him why. The young man responded that his boss was the most successful man he knew so was trying to be around him as much as possible to learn. I asked him how he defined Success.

After about 15 minutes he came back with a list of things that made up success. They included: happiness, financial success, love, peace of mind, health and several others. Asking one at a time, I asked the young man if his boss was happy? no, he never smiled. Did he have financial success? yes. Love in his life? his wife just left him. Peace of mind? he was very stressed. Health? he had a stress induced ulcer. So of the 5 criteria, he had 1. Did the young man still think him the most successful man he knew? No.

Funny that it took the prompting of another for the young man to really take a look at what Success meant to him. At the end of the day (or your life), do you want to be known for how much cash you had in the bank? or how loving, kind, and generous you were? What does success mean to you?

Not to say that the financial picture isn’t important, most of us are living in a currency based economy, and thus, it is important. The Key here is to be aware of its proper place in the context of your life. Ahh, here we are full circle back to Stephen Covey. First Things First acknowledges the many hats we wear and provides tools to live a Priority based life.

So what’s with the evangelical christian slant of many of the speakers, I’d like to know? Why is it that so many of the speakers out there on the National Speaker Circuit who talk about Priorites as Core Guiding Principles are practically preaching the Word? There are so many different thoughts flying through my head that just 1 won’t come through my fingers to the screen right now. So many suspicions, assumptions, and presuppositions jumble around that I feel like I should just keep my mouth shut until a little coherency injects some sense into this head o’ mine.

Utilizing Roles as a framework for organizing your information and schedule stands solidly on the premise of a “balanced life.”

When we start talking about a balanced life, we immediately enter a “quality of life” discussion. Also in the quality of life discussion is the desire for a “simple life.”

When I look at the many different responsibilities and engagements “on my plate,” the questions, “What is simple? Is this a simple life?” continually beg attention. The answer that keeps coming back like the Energizer Bunny points to a qualitative internal experience rather than a qualitative external experience. Huh? (what kind of talk is that? a throw back to the days when I was working with Land Use Watch Dog Organization, Citizens Planning Association. That was when I was introduced to “Quality of Life” as a community discussion.)

“Qualitative internal experience vs. a qualitative external experience” (still can’t believe I just wrote that, ha ha) OR shall we say, it’s a question of following your heart vs. the number of obligations that you have in your life. How many times have you heard, “Just follow your heart!” “Well, duh,” you respond, “if it was that easy, I probably wouldn’t be seeking encouragement and tools to do it!”

Organizing your information and schedule with Roles as a framework gives easily understandable guidelines to incorporate the quality of life discussion into your day to day life. Over the course of the week I’ll write about different aspects of organizing by Roles. By the way, Stephen Covey wrote extensively about Roles in his book, First Things First.

At our last Biz Chicks gathering last Monday night, Wendy, a personal chef, said that what has made a huge impact on her quality of life was a decision she made back in her mid-twenties. I’ll first note that she is happy with her life and is in control of her lifestyle. She works about 20 hours a week, loves what she does, and is a full time mom to 2 young boys.

Back to ‘The Decision.” She realized that she’d rather be in no relationship than in a bad relationship. And the extension of this, she’d rather have no work than work she didn’t love. What a powerful place to be. She rejected allowing her energy to be drained by work (or relationship) that doesn’t encourage her to thrive.

Often times, a situation isn’t as black & white as “Yes, this is for me,” or “No, it’s not.” In this case, being aware of what lifts you up and gives you energy as well as what drains your energy and makes you feel like bleck, can be a very subtle and powerful navigation tool. The biggest challenge in using this tool, I’ve found, is respecting the subtle nudge encouraging me away from something that “doesn’t seem too bad,” or that “has enough good to stay.” Or so I tell myself at the time…

Amy Tan’s novel that evolved from her short story, Immortal Heart.

I saw the Word for Word production of Amy Tan’s “Immortal Heart” with my mom last night. “Immortal Heart” was Tan’s short story published in the New Yorker that evolved into her 2001 novel, The Bonesetter’s Daughter. The SF Word for Word Performing Arts Company, did a 2 weekend run at the Nevada Theater in Nevada City in conjunction with CATS, Community Asian Theatre of the Sierra.

This was my first experience of a Word for Word production. This means that the script was literally a word-for-word replica of Amy Tan’s short story (i.e. The story was not rewritten as a screenplay.)

One of the lead characters was explaining writing (think turn of the last century rural China.) She said (to the effect of) “in the first writing, the writer is clearing off the surface of the pond. Here there is pond scum, mosquito larvae, and floating junk. Once this is gone, the writer asks what is my intention? and looks for words in her mind that match those in her heart.” Beautiful.

Picture this in the context of writing with brush and ink. Each stroke has meaning and intention. Each stroke has significant consequence since there is no back–space, white-out, or erasers allowed.

What a profound reminder of the importance of clearing out mental clutter! Do I want to proceed in my writing, in planning my next adventure, in moving through my day floating through pond scum??? No! I want to be dipping into the depths of the deep seas…

For those who like a little more structure and prompting when being led through exercises suggested in Shakti Gawain’s book, Creative Visualization. As is the case with many introspection oriented books (and life, really) the more you give, the more you get out of it. Shakti’s book is not one to just read straight through. Savor, ponder, imagine, explore. You are in control of your experience.