This article was originally published in The Simplifier #66.

Article: Vacationing - Your inner masseuse vs. your inner drill sergeant

By Shawn Tuttle

I think it’d be safe to assume that you’d rather go on vacation with a masseuse than a drill sergeant. In fact, you’d probably enjoy deep relaxation more than jump-and-run orders all the time. 

Why is it then, that so many people let their internal drill sergeant dictate their lives so thoroughly? “Keep going! Don’t stop! There’s more to do! One more, one more! Look at him over there, he’s doing more than you! Pick up the pace!” 

Maybe you always feel under the gun as soon as you wake up and race around until you drop into bed at night. Whether it’s professional work, yard work, or family time–you charge on like the Energizer bunny. No wonder it can take a week of vacation before you feel like you’re even on vacation! 

On the flip side, someone who has been on a long break from work may feel like they want some get-up-and-go discipline to get back in the swing of things. 

Naturally, we move back and forth between these two states. (Obviously there are more than two states, but we’ll playing the duality game here for the sake of demonstration.) A healthy cycle might go something like this:

Charge–rest–charge–rest–charge–charge–rest–rest. 
Sounds pretty ideal and balanced, doesn’t it?

However, our American culture and accepted work ethic has moved us toward a different pattern: 
Charge–charge–charge–charge–rest–charge–charge–charge–charge
Not very sustainable! 

How to screw up a perfectly good vacation
We let ourselves be hijacked by the drill sergeant for 50 weeks of the year and then depend on a once-a-year vacation to rejuvenate. Really now!? Why do we do we only allow ourselves a “vacation state of mind” for that short period of time?

Or, even worse, we take the drill sergeant on vacation! You know… the 40 cities in 24 countries in 14 days kind of tour. That pace will guarantee more exhaustion than rest by the end of your travels.

Then, what typically happens upon return from vacation? You’ve been gone for two weeks. Even though you worked overtime before leaving to take care of everything that needs to be taken care of while you’ll be gone, the drill sergeant jumps on your back as soon as you walk through the door. Any remnant of relaxation scampering away with the first, “Get going! You have to catch up!”

While Americans have become masters at defeating the purpose of vacations, the damage isn’t permanent. An unspoiled vacation gets us out of our routine, encourages relaxation, shakes things up a bit, and deepens a go-with-the-flow mindset. It also exposes us to new places and people, invites us to take a look at our life through a big-picture lens, and inspires new ideas. How do we balance our dual nature so that we can enjoy vacation time like it was meant to be enjoyed?

The archetypes
The drill sergeant represents abundant mental activity, high productivity, an attitude of making things happen, fast pace, driven by progress, and list-checking-off mania. (In eastern culture, this is the masculine element.)

The masseuse represents calm mind, getting things done in their own time, an attitude of allowing, easy pace, being present, and flowing. (In eastern culture, this is the feminine element.)

Everyone, men and women alike, do well to experience both. Culturally, we’ve tended to lean very heavily toward the masculine. Understanding what the sergeant and the masseuse represent can help you see when it’s time to dismiss one and call in the other. While each one thrives in different situations, the truth is, you have control over who’s calling the shots–even if it doesn’t always seem like it… 

Think about burnout after excessive, relentless pushing by that drill sergeant for a minute. When you cross that line into burnout, you finally stand up and say, “No more!” You grab the reins and make drastic change because you just can’t go on like that anymore. But if you can grab the reins at burnout, you are proving that you actually do have control. So why not exercise that control earlier in order to change the pattern? Then you don’t need the incentive of burnout to take action.

The vay-cay vibe
You don’t have to move to the beach to experience more vay-cay vibe in your life. Rather, learn to recognize when the drill sergeant has outstayed his welcome–even better, catch him just before that point–and dismiss him for a period of time. Invite in the masseuse for some R&R. Maybe it’s an afternoon dedicated to relaxing, maybe an hour for some fun, maybe just 15 minutes to relax your forehead and the muscles around your eyes. 

Get creative with it! Have some fruity drink mix around for a mid-afternoon, booze-free, cocktail on the back porch between meetings. Get a guided visualization CD to whisk you away to a beautiful beach when you feel the drill sergeant getting overbearing. Go to a restaurant that you’ve never been to in another town for a change of scenery. 

The more you are in control of who’s calling the shots, the easier it becomes to call in the appropriate leader. This takes practice, quite a bit actually, but the payoff is huge. Your good health relies on you taking care of yourself. 

Vacations can play an important role in supporting your well being; enjoying more vay-cay vibe in your life while not on vacation will have even deeper and more lasting effect. Even though your drill sergeant demands more attention, the masseuse deserves just as much stage time. It’s a brilliant day when you fully realize that you are the drill sergeant’s boss. 
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Shawn Tuttle is founder of Project Simplify.