Time to simplify a situation. I met with a first-time client last week. I presented her with my client agreement, stating that payment is due at conclusion of session, which she signed. She had brought no form of payment with her that day. “I’ll drop it by tomorrow.” My desire to help and trust in her word combined to allow the session to go on. No payment arrives “tomorrow”. An email arrives claiming, “tomorrow”. Nope. This week I get a couple of funny emails saying something about “intention and actions don’t always line up” and when is our next session? Another that says, when she gets paid, it’s hard to part with the money, and when is our next session? (I was waiting for payment and return of “homework” to reschedule–I’ll rethink this one, feels like an open loop.)

I can get angry, feel the fool, pop my palm against my forehead, or lay down inflexible and strictly adhered to rules of engagement. Or not. So I begin to write. First to release my emotions about the situation, and then to decide what to do (writing being one of my primary decision-making tools–this post would have been much longer, but you didn’t need to read the venting :) love that delete button).

Two concepts come to mind in the spirit of simplifying this situation: The cliche “laying down the line” and the (reaffirmed) value of agreements (or lack of value if ignored). They should go in the opposite order–agreements first. A written agreement is merely an understanding of expectation–a good thing. [side note: ‘Tis sad that corporate agreements, for example for our cell phones or various software or program usage, are so out of control ridiculous. Too thorough, detailed, and long says to me, “probably not in my best interest” but I can’t proceed without convincing my thumb to hit the mouse over ‘accept’. It’s kind of like insurance. I’m banking on the hope/risk that I’ll never have to use it. But enough on lame agreements.]

This isn’t a post on the importance of agreements (they are essential!) but a learning experience of “what I (shoulda/coulda) will do differently”. Ya know, for next time I have a potential client that has a tendency to act like a kid in their pushing and pushing to see what they can get away with.

Change in my process: send out agreement before first meeting. Ask new client to print, read, sign, fax/send back.

Laying down the line. I see that she’s waiting for me to lay down the line. That she wants and needs solid boundaries. She wants someone else to tell her what is appropriate. By allowing payment flexibility in my agreement (my thought was that since I didn’t send the contract to her ahead of time, it was my responsibility to be flexible that day) on our very first appointment, she needs reassurance that I will adhere to it, that it is to be respected.

Looks like the best course of action is spelling out what needs to happen, what her responsibility is, and if we don’t have those, we don’t have a working relationship. Simple as that. Relief. So, what needs to happen? We can set an appointment after she settles up on the first one. Agreement is amended to be “prepay.” I cancel the meeting on the spot if not upheld. Bummer to have another blow to the honor system. Oh schwell. Helps me appreciate my prompt clients all the more. Thank you!