Digging out rotten roots
A week ago Sunday, as I was still climbing up out of the nasty pit of food poisoning, I had this bizarre… trip of sorts. The day turned out to be quite a pivotal one.
There weren’t any drugs involved, though I was feeling “out there” a bit as I’m not used to fasting, and had been for three days.
The theme of the experience revolved around the conviction that it’s time to change my lifestyle. I’m going to become a plant. (kidding!)
A lot of stuff came up that day as I sat on the back porch couch looking into the apple tree drooping from the weight of too many apples. Dreams from high school in the back-to-the-land variety, desire to drop some responsibilities having to do with my house (the real cost of homeownership), and desire for more chosen family community.
I don’t know how to transition into what came from it, because I’m still not clear on the connection between two.
Once I was eating again and more or less back on track (but still no lattes!), it seemed to me that the bubbling up of all that stuff was in reaction to financial stress.
[side note: Stress can be so much more subtle than tight shoulders or clenched jaw or some other physical symptom. An underlying worry can pervade my life almost unnoticeably, and the worry about cash flow had to an extent.
It was affecting my response to situations involving time or money; I felt myself clamping down and trying to conserve both--in a limiting way (rather than a wise way).
I love most parts of being self-employed and growing this business. It's been truly rewarding, a satisfying outlet for creativity, and astounding to look back and see the trail I've left behind. Awesome stuff that has helped me understand better who I am and what my work in this world is.
But being self-employed is hard, too. Maybe it's a reflection of my marketing and business plan, but being dedicated to growing organically has meant no infusion of nitrogen to turbo-boost this garden's growth. /end side note]
Talk about the potential for change. How about a lifestyle free from financial worry? Oooohh that sounds v. nice indeed. Simply to have all the basics covered… What a relief that’d be. Then I could focus on the Natural Professional program and writing and not worry about filling up the schedule.
Not sure if it’s a result of a simplified life, or increased ability to focus, of stronger intuition from the yoga and meditation. All of them together is likely. The point is, I manifested it last week. I saw a possible situation for a long-term, part-time gig that would meet all basic expenses and leave energy for other clients, program development, etc. (And working the gig itself will provide all kinds of material for my biz.) I secured it within 4 days, and started this week.
Yippee skipee!
Big sigh of relief!
(I had actually wanted to write a post on the position and how I see it as being a huge opportunity for Simplifier program fodder, but that’ll wait.)
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Photo credit:
one apple
Originally uploaded by ginnerobot
