Consideration #1
One of the aspects I love about yoga class is being able to let go. I get to trust that I’m “safe”, I get to trust that the yoga teacher is going to lead me through class safely - physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Consideration #2
I’m of the camp who believes “failure” is an illusion. There are always lessons to learn in situations that don’t go as expected or as hoped. To me, these far outweigh the disappointment of not meeing those expectations. Things don’t “just happen”. There is always a series of events and decisions that led up to that moment at which I utter, “oh no”, and figuring out where I miscalculated or over-extended can be a very powerful realization.

Consideration #3
I’m also of the camp who believes that our thoughts create our reality. If I constantly think, “I’m overwhelmed and stressed,” I will continue to engage in situations that support this belief. Basically, to think about “failure” is to set myself up for “failure”.

Collision of considerations
So you can imagine my surprise at yoga class Friday morning when, during relaxation at the very beginning of class, our substitute teacher said, “today’s class is about redefining failure.”

Egads.

In order to “redefine failure”, one must first believe in failure. “Oh help!” I panic, “This class is being led by someone who not only believes in failure but is probably feeling failure, hence the desire to deal with it” (my projection).

Opening up class with “failure” immediately threw up my defenses. I didn’t trust my mental and spiritual well-being would make it through unscathed.

My whole body does this involuntary tweak and holds the tension. My mind, that had been letting go, fires up immediately, “what the? Nuh-uh.” I feel it taking a stance for warfare, “Show me what you got. I’ll debunk it. Bring it on!” I get the feeling a relaxing yoga session this will not be.

We move into a couple of minutes of seated meditation. Eyelids closed, my eyeballs dart back and forth mirroring my thoughts which have switched to desperate grabs at how to make a get-away without making waves. I did not want to spend the next hour and a half fending off “failure”.

After meditation she began to lead us in a pose on the floor. “Perfect!” As quietly as possible I rolled up my mat, walked silently to the teacher on the way to the door, “I’m not quite ready for yoga this morning.” Her understanding smile released me from guilt for not speaking totally straight with her. I left the room, hopped on my bicycle, and pedaled to freedom.

It was 8:40 a.m., already at least 85 degrees Fahrenheit and I felt exhilarant! Free, light, relieved. Ready for the day with a smile.