Allow time in your schedule to hold space for your well-being. Your wise-self knows approx how much.

The Tip Explained
Have you ever thought that your schedule looked doable, yet your experience left you feeling rushed and bewildered about where all the time went?

It’s easy to look at availability in terms of blocked out vs. not blocked out sections on your calendar. This is only one part of your schedule.

There’s another aspect to designing your schedule that often falls under the radar: “holding space”. By this I mean acknowledging that commitments and unexpected situations take time and energy, a lot of which is not schedulable. Your well-being benefits—no, it requires—space to make sense of the world you are experiencing.

Often times, we aren’t even aware of the additional strain on ourselves—it just gets written off as “I’m tired today” or “I feel drained” seemingly for no reason. Maybe there is a reason!

For example: Think of the last time you started a new position. Even though your schedule may have claimed 10 hours for the week, it likely felt like a whole lot more. Did you feel tired or drained? This was your psyche getting accustomed to your new role.

Then, once you got used to your new role, there may have been times when working 20 hours actually felt like it took less time and energy than during that first week!

While it’s more obvious when considering the new things in your life, the same concept holds for each commitment on your plate.

Holding space also applies to any emotionally challenging situation, be it work related or not. All of us spent energy in processing the tragic event on 9/11, whether we knew someone in those buildings or not. Something to do with being human, I’d think. =)

Hold space for your personal well-being by getting in the habit of allowing more room in your schedule for processing these uncertain and rapidly changing times. It’ll actually help everything else go more smoothly!

Questioning the foundation model.

While foundation implies solidity and strength, which is good to base your work life on, it also implies a one time set up and then forget about it. As if you could establish your foundation and not think about it for some 10-20 years.

If issues develop, we either don’t see problems progressing or we allow a certain blind eye to the situation. Surely not every little blemish is worth addressing, so maybe we let maintenance go until enough little things have built up with the intention that we’ll take care of them all at one.

Deferred maintenance is dangerous though, no? You don’t know if the real problem is that one little thing or if it’s actually a tiny symptom of a much larger one.

Like the crack over my front door. A little crack to patch? Or indication that the supports under my house have significantly shifted over the last 100 years? (I can pretty much guarantee the later.)

Eat Dirt!

Let’s venture out the kitchen door to the garden for inspiration instead. The tomato plants are growing, the peppers are looking confident enough to really get going soon, the basil has warded off an initial bug attack and is thriving.

My stomach growls just imagining the tastiness that will come in a couple of months.

Less appetizing to my inner food critic is the soil. Can’t saute it up with olive oil, salt and pepper like eggplant. Can’t throw it in a smoothie like berries. Can’t chop it up and toss it in an omelette like basil.

And yet…

The health of the soil is the primary predictor of healthy plants and nutritious fruits and veggies.

When beginning a garden or resuscitating an existing one, you’ll greatly benefit from initial prep and then ongoing monitoring and maintenance. You might even need to bring in the big guns in the form of a couple of yards of new soil or organic matter.

Then there’s the ongoing care of not too much, not too little water, pH balance, acid and alkaline levels.

It goes without saying that the more you can learn about and tune into your soil’s health, the easier it is to make the occasional adjustments throughout the year.

Your own garden’s soil

Your maintenance systems benefit from the same care and attention. You invest a big chunk of energy setting up or revamping a system, for example, consolidating stray address books into one digital contact management system. Then there’s the ongoing maintenance of adding new contacts, weeding out duplicates, updating info, etc.

Saving up all the little things for a once a year update isn’t so helpful—this leaves you working off old info, or trying to remember which phone number is the most recent.

Ongoing care doesn’t take much as long as you remain attuned to the needs of your soil. No blind eyes, no deferred maintenance. Little adjustments and small actions on a weekly basis, once your system is set up, are all that are needed.

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Photo credit:
Corn Planted by Western Scrub Jays by Noël Zia Lee

The last post ended up in a medical airlift rescue due to the dangers of inadequate transition time.

Now let’s take transition time to the mindfulness camp. The photo is what some of us did at the end of the Wisdom 2.0 Conference.

“Wha’ the–,” you may ask. Indeed.

At the end of the second day of being indoors, listening to panel after panel (good though they were), and meeting all kinds of lovely people, my head felt like it was about to burst.

The conference was officially done, but there was one more informal event, a Happy Hour at a restaurant 10 miles away. I wanted to go… but like I said, my head was about to explode from so much stimulation.

We went outside to find a gorgeous, spring day with that stunning sunshine that appears late in the day. The green grass beckoned, the trees whispered, “Mary”.

Then I saw the planter. Ohhhh… I knew immediately what I wanted to do. I dropped my bags and hopped up on one side and stood on one leg. Then the other. Back and forth, doing what must have looked like some weird pseudo-yoga balancing routine.

The best way to stop people from making fun of me, I’ve found, is to get them to join in the weirdness. You can see what happened from the pictures.

In retrospect, here’s what was going on: for years I’ve enjoyed balancing on curbs, low walls, parking stops, and the like. In the last year or so, I’ve begun to notice that not only do I enjoy the balancing, but I actively seek it out when I’m feeling heady.

What I understand now, is this is a natural (alcohol-free!) way for me to shift energy out of my head. It’s a grounding activity.

With this understanding, I know that whenever pressure starts building in the ole noggin, I can pull the energy back down into my roots with 10 minutes of spontaneous, pseudo-yoga, balancing fun outside. Booya!

As KC and the Sunshine Band so eloquently sing it, “that’s the way uh-huh, uh-huh I like it. Uh-huh, uh-huh.”

Considering that the body is a key to mental and emotional states, what physical activity helps you shift gears?

When I was a bicycle tour guide in Italy, I remember rounding the corner in the support van to find one of our clients, Joe, in the middle of the road, on the ground, screaming in pain.

Joe was in his ’70s, and had already had a few hip and knee replacement surgeries. He had always been athletic–even played basketball for his college team back in the day.

Perhaps (i.e. according to his wife) his head was stubbornly stuck in the past glory of a younger body.

What happened that day in Tuscany was that he had been coasting down a big hill in a high gear and didn’t shift into a low gear at the bottom of the hill. Instead, enjoying the momentum, he started coasting up the next hill which was a steep climb near the end of our ride.

The momentum didn’t take him all the way to the top. He tried changing gears while pedaling but was pedaling so hard that the chain couldn’t make the jump. He came to a virtual stand still on the uphill slope.

Not a problem, right? Just put your foot down. Well this guy purposely rode with cleats tightly clicked to the petals–tighter than I was comfortable with–which he couldn’t get out of fast enough. Attached to the bike, he fell sideways, hip hitting the ground first. Ouch.

Joe and his irritated wife (“I’m sick and tired of him over-doing it!”) were airlifted out of their vacation on the second day of the trip.

–
He essentially fell victim to a poorly executed transition. Smooth transition requires awareness of a changing situation.

From: being on one track (coasting down a hill),
To: a future track (pedaling up a steep hill).

Switching tracks usually consists of a number of mundane actions (shifting gears) that become smoother the more you accept your abilities and the faster you can consider the options-Go down to 3rd gear, or 1st gear? How soon? How hard to pedal while shifting? and so on.

Blow off the details and pay the price. (Talk about a bummer way to leave Italy!) Of course the other huge point here is planning. Looking ahead to upcoming terrain, then beginning the transition early is often the easiest way to sail through.

I see it as a question of mindfulness. The more present we are in a situation, the more we can follow the nuances of the changes taking place.

Sure, sometimes easier said than done… but hey, it’s part of the journey so have fun with it!

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Photo credit:
eve by Ralph Hockens

I’ve been doing a variation of it for years and have recently incorporated it into a daily practice, shared here:

Ahhh, the first workshop session was last night and it went great.

Rather than talk about the ‘shop, his post, will be about was the day leading up to it.

Still had a lot to do: finish up and print the handouts, get binders for the handouts, set up the refreshments, assemble the binders, and oh yes, make soup for dinner.

There was a distinct thread of stress (assuming adrenaline and cortisol) coursing through my body. Not enough to totally freak me out, but enough that I kept feeling my shoulders tense up and breathing to get shallow.

I knew that I’d make it the 6pm start time but that I’d be exhausted (a day of stress’ll do that to me, eh).

During the morning, I did breathing exercises and mixed up what I was doing to keep as calm as possible.

The mixing it up helped because instead of trying to power through all the computer work (where I’ve a pattern of getting sucked in, caught up and then spit out a limp rag), I’d get one thing done, then go get the tea set-up ready. Then finish up another computer thing followed by sweeping the front porch.

This prevented tension from settling in too deeply. Even more interesting, I felt, was the fluidity with which the different activities happened. My over-active head was actually sitting in the passenger seat for once. Present, alert, and ready to jump in the driver’s seat, but still letting a more intuitive guidance lead the way.

Then came the field trip (i.e. out and about to run some errands), and the fun began. I ran into all kinds of wonderful, beautiful friends who gave words of encouragement and support. What a lovely way to lift the spirits! The joys of living in a small town. =)

The internal shift that happened out on the field trip was significant. Hard to describe… an acceptance of my role as a Natural Professional and what that means experientially.

It isn’t just something to talk about and pick up some productivity skills for. It’s a way of living–a settling in to self.

I’ve been trying to figure out what the relationship is between goal setting–which is an important activity that often morphs into an unnatural driving force–and acceptance and allowance of what is.

It isn’t exactly a switching between one and the other, but a delicious co-existence in which the experience isn’t striving as much as emergence.

Like a plant growing from seed into a mature plant. An emergence that can be surrendered to when in line with one’s purpose. It takes energy and yet is quasi-effortless. Ahhhhhh.

Geez, why we don’t look more to the role model of Mother Nature for everyday functioning is a mystery to me.

Hmmm, the neurons are firing in all kinds of directions expanding on this one but it’s time to leave for yoga.

I’ll sign off for now with this: Enjoy the journey and let it be easy.

XO

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Photo credit:
Explored!
by turtlemom4bacon

Got frustrated this morning because of email. It appears that my emails to a particular person, which I thought were really quite clear, were actually written in a lost language. In other words, she responded as if she didn’t understand them. Two of ‘em.

What is the appropriate response on my part? Frustration is certainly not helpful. Completely pulls me into my head. And when I’m so in my head, I do stupid, clutzy things.

Alas, 10 minutes ago, I knocked over the utensil holder next to the stove putting the honey away. It’s glass. It broke.

Which only goes to alert me that I’m in my head which then pisses me off, because I know how crappy it is to be completely in my head.

So now I’m frustrated and pissed off. Just noting that progression as I bang away at the keyboard kind of makes me laugh. What a dork.

Ah, lightened by a flash of humor. Phew!

Which brings me back to earlier question: what would an appropriate (and better!) response be? Those issues in the email still need to be dealt with in a somewhat short timeframe.

Options:
-More clarification via email doesn’t sound too promising. It’s already been shown that comprehension of the written word is not optimal.

- The phone is somewhat challenging because of our schedules.
-Hmm, are those really the only two options at this point?

Given those two options, the phone’s ability for speak and response is definitely preferred.

So my next question is how to respond in terms of what to say?

What’s coming to mind is the person speaking to someone who doesn’t speak their language.
“Where’s the Duomo?”

The other person shrugs, clearly not understanding.

Louder and slower: “Where’s the Duomo?”

Hello! Comprehension does not increase with vocal volume. Or so I’m told.

Frustration results when energy hits a road block. My M.O. is not to plow through it with extra force.

Thus I get to discover another route around the road block. Then the energy can flow and frustration stays tucked away in its ugly little hovel.

Now that I’m writing, I wonder if reiterating what I wrote might work after all. I say this based on the awareness that some people don’t do well with written comprehension–they absorb information by listening or some other form of communication.

I’ll leave a message if I can’t reach her. If this works, then in the future I’ll call first to relay the info and, if appropriate, will follow up with an email for clarification or for a trail if necessary.

OK. That route feels better. Frustration has been waylaid with only minor casualty this morning.

And for goodness sake, Let it be Easy!
=)

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Photo credit:
A disgruntled giraffe appears to poke his head out of the frame, but in fact doesn’t. Grows more frustrated with zoo life.
by benoutram

For example, my systems were supporting a certain level of activity just fine, (served well in the past).

Until, (pivot point!)

A series of events have occurred that indicate it’s time for some serious ramping up of the business. (systems no longer adequate).

Using systems that wouldn’t accommodate a significant ramp-up thoroughly violates simplification rule #12, The 10x Rule.

Clarification and minor detour of this post’s subject: actually, it’s not so much that the systems aren’t expandable, it’s that I haven’t been using them in such a way that considerably more volume will be tolerated.

Result: I feel confused about priorities, am not making satisfying progress on more than 1 or 2 or the goals (the ones with externally set deadlines), and I feel that icky ineffectual feeling that can quickly spiral in to the Dumps.

Besides starting to feel crappy, there are other signs to indicate “seriously off track”: I have a tendency to handwrite and rewrite lists of projects and things to do, clean the kitchen, question adequacy of task mgmt system, clean the bathroom, etc. you get the idea.

The equivalent of paper pushing. Lots of busy work, very little significant work.

The truth is, the systems are there that can support the increase of projects and goals:
I have a system for tracking projects and ToDos: Things. (I’m just not using it consistently, therefore my head doesn’t trust it.)

I have a system for review projects and priorities: Daily Review. (I slip away from doing it daily, therefore priorities get confused.)

Even have a practice for staying in touch with my Purpose: morning yoga and meditation (Which, illogically, I tend to stop doing when my head starts freaking out.)

So how to get back on track? Use the systems.
1. Download Projects and ToDos from head into Things.
2. Set appointment for this evening (with alarm) for Daily Review and prep for tomorrow.
3. Set morning alarm to allow time for yoga and meditation.
4. Repeat tomorrow (though downloading will then happen in daily review)

Summing up:
Know what your “off-track” signs are. With this awareness, exert whatever energy needed to get back on track, Now. Your life is too valuable to squander away cleaning the kitchen. (Not that I’m saying don’t clean your kitchen, really now, that could get gross. I’m just saying, don’t let it be a substitution for work toward your goals.) If you don’t have a good system for tracking projects and ToDo’s, get one going. Digital versions that work well with GTD methodology: Things or OmniFocus.

Rules. We rebel against them. We benefit from them. Maybe they could be called “gems”, but the sense I get from folks is that they want it spelled out and quickly. So Rules they be and here they are.

This is by no means a full list. I’ll add stuff as I trip across it here on the site and in the archives. It’s to be an easy reference more than anything else.

Keep in mind that the numbering is somewhat random. By no means should something be considered more or less important based on its placement in this list.

#1 Breathe. Deeply. Frequently. (this one is intentionally #1)
#2 One thing at a time
#3 Take it all the way through
#4 Be nice to yourself.
#5 Make it easy on your brain
#6 mise en place
#7 dial in foundation first
#8 Work how your brain works
#9 Schedule according to your biorhythms
#10 Let systems do the work
#11 Sleep-on-it before saying Yes.
#12 10X rule (set up expandable systems–i.e. can handle 10 times as much use)
#13 Use good-quality, easy-to-use tools (filing drawers that roll easily, hole punches that punch)
#14 Enjoy the journey.
#15 Don’t over do it.
#16 Acknowledge that most activities take longer than expected.
#17 Do Not use your head as a storage space
#18 Begin ToDo items with a verb.

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Photo credit:
Lane Numbers
by teosaurio

Meeting time. Are you looking forward to a gathering of like minded individuals working toward a common goal? Or are you dreading a wasted two hours that could be spent doing something more important?

The narrow zoom
When the person leading the meeting has a narrow focus, think of a zoom lens on your camera, it’s easy to lose touch with what’s going on outside the current view. It feels like just a time for a bunch of people to get together to talk about certain subjects.

Discussion subjects digress and time runs long. People don’t make the decisions necessary to progress situations. People leave feeling disconnected from priorities and like nothing was accomplished.

The wide angle
When, however, the person leading has a wide focus, she has an inherent sense of the purpose of the meeting as a means to fulfill objectives toward a shared mission.

She is aware of the time–important for beginning and ending the meeting on time as well as keeping tabs on how long to spend on each agenda item. She keeps discussions relevant and to the point, and knows when to call for action in order to move on. People leave with a renewed connection to priorities and a sense of accomplishment.

Zoom + wide angle
This leader has an ability to zoom in her focus to deal with the details while simultaneously holding a wide pan view. Whether in a leadership position for a business, a family, or your own project, you can train yourself to do this–it’s a developed skill.

The next time you are in a meeting, practice your wide angle perspective. At a few different times, zoom out and take stock.

• Remind yourself of the mission of the business, non-profit organization, or project.
• Then recall the mission of this specific gathering.
• Who is present and what are their roles in the project and in the organization?
• Observe how the discussion at hand fits into these larger contexts.

Practicing this skill has huge pay offs; you’ll spend more time on important activities, you’ll feel more accomplished, and will waste less time. While this is awesome for you individually, the goodies will overflow to your team, business, and family. People will look to you as someone who gets stuff done.

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Photo credit:
Fall 2009 1
Originally uploaded by st_photos

Photo credit:
aspen_trees
Originally uploaded by Zest-pk