by Lance Brown

Let’s get one thing right out of the way: I don’t own anything fancy or nice. I’m not saying I don’t have anything of value–I’m currently basking in the glow of five computer monitors, for example, and I have more books than I know what to do with. I could list a lot of things I own…but not a one of them would be considered “nice” by the discerning critic. (And I don’t even want to postulate what percentage would be judged “straight-up junk”.)

Maybe it’s having two large dogs and three indoor cats, or maybe it’s living on land that is almost always either muddy or dusty, or being a bachelor for too long…or maybe it’s just me. But I’m generally glad if I can just make sure most of my belongings are not grimy and gross–never mind “nice”.

So maybe that provides a little context when I say I bought a new rug the other day. My prior claims stand true–it’s not fancy or nice. It was $30 at the discount outlet store, and it’s thin and very synthetic. It does have a pretty design though…and more importantly:
–it’s new, and
–it has a significant percentage of light-colored material.

In the House of Lance, this is known as “upping the ante”. Last year, I dared to bring clients into my less-than-ideal home/office space, and doing so forced me to up my “home game” if you will, at least for those occasions. Now I have an assistant coming in 5 days a week, and simple pride pushes me to try and keep things nice for when he’s here. But luckily for me (sort of), the existing flooring material here is absolutely perfectly brown-colored dirt-absorbing industrial carpet. So it has been hard to do any real wrong on that particular front.

And now, in the very center of my little office-house of mud and pets and dust, all this nearly-white rug material. A new challenge on the path from “mountain man” Lance to Freelance Lance. A new civilized territory to defend.

I’m not saying this is an earth-shattering event. Believe me, I’m realistic about just how big of a deal this is.

It’s 5 feet wide and 6 foot 7 inches long.

Just the right size.

…

This column is featured in The Simplifier #5.3.