How to help friend stop ugly habit?
I have a friend who complains a lot. Generally, he’s a good guy. He’s fun and creative, but the complaining has reached epic proportions in my ear.
In Toastmasters we use a clicker for gratuitous use of “um” “uh” “aaannnndddd” “so” etc. Often times the person speaking doesn’t realize how often they use one of these words as a space filler. Once they are aware, they make an effort to stop themselves before more slip out. It’s disconcerting when talking to “get clicked”, and very effective for cleaning up one’s speech. I know. After almost 2 years in Toasties, I have had my ample share of being clicked while speaking.
I’m thinking of using a similar technique with my friend. Since I don’t normally carry a clicker with me, I’m considering some of the following possibilities to alert him to his complaining ways:
- (if on the phone) push a button on the keypad (that’d be like the clicker!)
- (drop into simulated recorded voice) “I’m sorry, your annual allotment of complaints has been exceeded. Please try again later.”
- put my fingers in my ears and repeat loudly, “I’m not listening. La La La La La.”
- (I rarely wear a watch) Look at my wrist/watch and exclaim, “Look at the time! Gotta go!”
- (another for the phone) complaint begins, hang up
Personally, I like #2 the best. Suggestions welcome: How to help a friend stop an ugly habit besides throwing him off a bridge?
