This morning in Toastmasters I did the following “speech” on the subject of collecting dues (I’m no longer Area Governor–am now club Treasurer). I put “speech” in quotes because it was more like a skit, super fun to do! The primary technique was body language, and I got into it.

Start out with a Treasurer’s type table - table, no lectern, banker’s lamp, banker’s visor, pencil and ledger. Tapping my teeth with pencil, looking off into the distance, thinking hard.

Alter between sitting at table “thinking” and stepping away as narrator of my thoughts.

thoughtful look on face
I’ve been voted treasurer of my toastmasters club–a very important position. I want to do a good job managing the club’s finances.

sitting up straight, accepting myself in the role
It’s a big responsibility. I’m in charge of keeping track of the budget, reconciling the bank account, and keeping the club apprised of our financial situation. This month, September, is the most important month of my career, dues are due. (hold up calendar)

dreamy look on face
I’m going to quickly and efficiently collect everyone’s money with a smile, I’ll hand write thank you notes. I’ll call all the past members. With charm and grace, I’ll convince them to rejoin–I’ll be a Star!

smug and self-satisfied
I have until September 30 to send in the dues to Toastmasters International. Piece of cake. I could do this job in my sleep.

doubt begins to creep over
What if people forget to bring their checkbooks? “oops!”

doubt creeps into fear
What if they’ve been pretending to like me this whole time–”sucker! we’ll sign her up as Area Governor!” What if they don’t bring their checkbooks on purpose! They want to see me squirm! they want to see me fail! (go still with understanding) They want to see me beg. “Katie, please bring your checkbook to pay your dues!!! please!!!”

confusion
They all seemed to like Chuck. How did he do it? He just made a few announcements, “Dues Wacka due”

conspiracy theory
“Dues Wacka due”?! What was that all about? Knowing Chuck, I’ll bet it was some kind of non-sensical spell that works on the unconscious level. (wiggle fingers) “Dues Wacka due” “Hmm (dopey grin) I have an overwhelming desire to write a check to Toastmasters!”

revenge
I know how I’ll deal with them… I’ll volunteer to lead Table Topics. The word of the day will be “procrastinator”. I’ll ask questions like, “Why I haven’t paid my dues…, Stacy!”

thoughtful again
Hmmm, may lead to bad karma.

encouraged
I can’t understand why any of them wouldn’t want to stay in this wonderful group of intelligent, interesting, and inspiring people. I’ll give it one more week before doing anything drastic…